D.J. Tanner's Day Off
D.J. Tanner's Day Off is episode twenty-two and the finale of season one on Full House. Synopsis D.J. hears that will be at a local mini-mall to give out autographs; and knowing that it would mean meeting Stacey Q in person, she badly wants one and will do absolutely anything, no matter what it takes, to make it happen. The problem is, the signings are scheduled to take place during school hours. So D.J. decides to secretly skip a day of school to get her autograph. She gets Jesse to mention how he once secretly and successfully skipped a day from school, and D.J. pulls that same trick on Jesse and Joey. D.J. and Kimmy head to the mini-mall and get in line to get their autographs. As they start to leave, they see Joey and Michelle come through the door, so they hide. Joey planned to get the autograph for D.J. and surprise her with it after school. Michelle (who is on a "leash") spots D.J., which leads to Joey finding her. He snatches the autograph out of her hand and takes her home (see Quotes). Back home, Joey and Jesse consider punishing her, but immediately change their minds and decide to keep what D.J. did a secret so Danny thinks they can take care of the girls on their own. But when Danny comes home from a trip to L.A. and hears what happened, he's not happy about it at all. After sending D.J. upstairs, he lectures the guys again about their parenting skills... or lack thereof (see Trivia). In the end, Danny finds out what D.J. did because of Stephanie (who tells D.J. that she got her homework from school for her), and scolds D.J. for skipping school and involving her sister in the mess (as the inspirational music plays), saying what she did was selfish. However, she remarks that she did not want to be selfish or hurt other people's feelings, and he remarks that she is better than that... a lot better. He reminds her to think things through more carefully next time. D.J., agreeing to do that in case there is a next time, apologizes to her father and sister for lying and they all gather for a group hug (as the audience applauds and the EP credits appear). Quotes and Kimmy are talking about Stacey Q when Stephanie enters the room. Stephanie: Hi. What are you doing? What are you talking about? Can I play? in Kimmy's face Hello? in D.J.'s face Hello? D.J.: Steph, let me explain this one more time. her arm Your world is down here her arm to Steph's height. Our world is up here [raising her arm to her and Kimmy's height]. Stephanie: [grabbing a chair from their little table and standing on it so to appear she's now in "their world"] Okay, now can I play? ---- D.J.: Kimmy gets to go. Why can't I? Danny: Because you're not Kimmy. I don't know why Kimmy's missing school... but there's a lot of things about Kimmy I don't understand. D.J.: If I don't get this autograph, I'll die. Danny: D.J., no one has ever died from lack of autograph. ---- the mall... Joey: D.J.? What are you doing here? D.J.: Getting busted. ... What are you doing here? Joey: I was so impressed with your honesty that I came down here to get you an autograph. D.J., this is not cool. I trusted you. snatches the autograph out of her hand as he says... Give me that autograph. puts Michelle's leash on her jacket. Come on, let's go. We're going home. D.J.: This is so humiliating. ---- her bedroom, the guys consider their punishment for D.J. as they fold their arms and angrily glare at her. D.J.: You don't have to do that. I feel bad enough. I really blew it. I'm really sorry and I'll never do anything like this again. Jesse: Regardless, Joseph and I must deal with your misconduct, young lady. Misconduct? Young lady? I really am turning into my father. Joey If I start wearing a white belt and shoes to match, throw me down the stairs. Joey: I'd be honored. D.J. we're going to have to punish you. No TV for two weeks. Jesse: You call that a punishment?! No TV and no music for two weeks! Joey: Oh yeah?! I say no TV and no music for two weeks and I raise you: no friends over for a month! Jesse: I call! No TV, no music, and no friends over for a month! Are we agreed, young lady? D.J.: Sure. I deserve to be punished. Dad trusted me and I let him down. I hate myself. Jesse: Excuse us. and Joey step aside. Joey, I think this kid is sorry. I think when Danny comes back from L.A maybe we shouldn't tell him about this. Joey: Don't you think he has a right to know exactly what happens?! Jesse: Yes. But I don't want him thinking we can't take care of the girls. Joey: You're absolutely right I forgot about that. He may never want to leave the house again. go over to D.J. D.J., we're not going to tell your Dad what happened. D.J.: Well, all right. she goes and hugs them. Oh thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ---- [After Danny sends D.J. upstairs, the guys think they're off the hook, but Danny isn't having it.] Jesse: You know, Joey, I'm starting to feel hungry. Joey: Me too. head for the kitchen, but Danny stops them dead in their tracks. Danny: Guys, come back. do. Jesse: I'm not that hungry. Joey: No, me neither. Danny: his finger at them I wanna know everything that goes on in my daughters' lives. Look, I don't expect you to be perfect parents, but I do expect you to be honest. I don't know why-- I don't know why-- I don't know why I'm wagging my finger at you like this. [calmly, as he finally stops wagging] Look, I don't wanna lecture you guys. I'd be lost here without you. But did you have to lie to me? Joey: We didn't want you to think we couldn't handle things. Jesse: We wanted you to know you could go and everything would be cool with your kids. Joey: If there's a problem, we should get it out in the open. Jesse: That's right. We should work things out together as a family. In fact, Joey, say you're sorry and mean it. Joey: I'm sorry. Now you say it. Jesse: OK. I'm sorry. OK? Joey: OK. Jesse: Thanks for the talk. Joey: Yeah. ---- enters the girls' room, ready to lecture his oldest daughter. However, he thinks his middle daughter deserves one as well. Stephanie: Lecture time. See you. Danny: Steph, I think you should stay. Stephanie: Why do I get a lecture? I didn't do anything. Danny: But you will, so take accurate notes. D.J., come here. Why did you do what you did today? D.J.: Because I wanted that autograph more than anything. Danny: Do you know what the worst part is about what you did? D.J.: That I cut school? Danny: No. Stephanie: That you tricked Stephanie? Danny: That you were selfish. All you cared about was D.J. You did whatever you had to do to get D.J. what she wanted, even if it meant lying and hurting other people. Trivia * The first time Danny goes out of town overnight * The second time Danny lectures Jesse and Joey about their parenting skills (first was "Our Very First Night") * The episode title is a take on the title of the 1986 movie * The song that plays in the background when D.J. and Kimmy go in to get an autograph from Stacey Q. is her 1988 hit " "; D.J. also sings and dances to the song in the episode's first few minutes while using a hairbrush as a microphone Category:Episodes Category:Season 1 Category:Quotes Category:Season finale episodes